


Polyswap Big Bang Five Sentence Fics

by thescyfychannel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Mini-Fic, Multi, several different ships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 12:30:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 1,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17345261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thescyfychannel/pseuds/thescyfychannel
Summary: All the five sentence fic from the Big Bang's server! Includes such favorites as davejadekat, the Midnight Crew, and erifefsolkat!





	1. Eridan/Rose/Sollux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @beanellinies  
> (not to interrupt the bday party but a fave polyship of mine is erisolrose, and i'd love seeing em humanstuck and bickering/bantering over their shared terrible families/life experiences!)

The three of you play darts with a board spelled to the ceiling. One way dome shields make the game safer (and infinitely more interesting, when someone tries for a trick shot or a rebound), alcohol and terrible aim makes the game more hilarious, and on the unspoken rule of the night, each bullseye has to take a turn talking about their shitawful family.

And then you all take another drink, because none of you are good at actually, you know, _talking_  about your feelings.

Eridan stares up at the ceiling, haphazardly stabbed with darts that caught themselves in the cork someone had the foresight to spell up to the ceiling as well. "It just sucks, y'know? Like— _fuck._ We're not that bad, right?"

"Right," you all mutter in agreement, and the somber mood continues until Sollux misses his throw due to Attack By Cat.


	2. Dave/Eridan/Sollux

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Grubbutts Hahaha Hmm, how about dave/sollux/eridan fluffy disaster boys getting along
> 
> *for once

It's static season, and none of you are the least bit mcfucking stoked. Hostilities have been put on hold until you can _deal with this shit_ , and you're pretty fucking sure you've never seen Ampora more distressed over anything in his entire goddamn life. Then again, given that you currently look like the dollar store version of your brother (with the grumpy temper to match) you're not sure that you can talk.

Wait, no, you lied—there's one person who's pretty mcfucking stoked, and that would be Sollux fucking Captor, who has spent the last few days scuffling around the carpets like the gremlin he is just so that he can shock either of his _supposedly_ beloved boyfriends.

You hear the crackling before you feel the spark, and before you can recover, he's off again and you're hearing Eridan's howl not seconds later. Truce over, time to go gremlin hunting.


	3. Eridan/Feferi/Sollux/Karkat - Corn Maze

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @mith check-in prompt: eridan/feferi/sollux/karkat. stuck in a corn maze (a maize maze, if you will)

"Oh, my fucking god."

Karkat's swearing has proved to be absolutely excellent for triangulation! It's how you found the rest of the gang in the first place, and even if Sollux and Eridan (somewhere to Karkat's north and south respectively, you _think_ ) refuse to admit it, you're pretty sure it's how they found you too. "What's up?"

"It's—guess now, first two don't count—yet _another_  fucking dead end! Great, just great, this is absolutely fucking _wonderful._ We're going to die in here and no one will ever find our bodies!"

"You're bein' melodramatic again, Kar." Eridan is having the most fun of the four of you, but you think Sollux is a close second. The two of them enjoy puzzles more than they'd like to admit, and something like this is probably reminiscent enough of Eridan's last weekend LARPing to get him all stoked. "For one, if it's really necessary, we'll climb up or some shit, see if we can't sort out a way. For two, you're only catastrophizin' because you can't see over the top a the second set a hay bales."

For a moment, there's diamond-edged silence. You think, in this moment, that Eridan might have realized his mistake. His horrible, _terrible_  mistake. "Uh. Kar?" Something the corn maze teaches you: Karkat Vantas is _incredibly_ good at problem solving when he's enraged.

Something you remembered, but had forgotten almost completely: Karkat Vantas was a gymnast in high school, and he still keeps up with his practice and exercises.

Watching Karkat, all of three (two and a _half_ ) inches taller than you, go _vaulting_ over some of the haybales and land squarely on Eridan, as Sollux stands up on tiptoes (at six fucking four, he's more than tall enough to manage a peek overtop) and shouts commentary, is one of the greatest moments of your life.

You quickly check around for anyone else (place seems deserted, yet another reason you'd suggested coming on the greyest day of the year), then clamber up the haybales to watch the show, resting your arms companionably atop Sollux's noggin. "You know, you could've just cheated from the start." "Yeah, but then we would've missed out on _this._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> got a little hype about this one


	4. Grand Highblood/)(er Imperious Condescension/Orphaner Dualscar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @veedragon  
> Check-in Prompt: GHB/Dualscar/Condesce, Loyalty

Playing liar's deck with them is the best time to contemplate your future: you don't need to use more than a fraction of your intelligence to play, and everyone you're up against has decided to doubt yours. Pity, that (you've never had much use for being underestimated), but then, your strategy has always tended towards the long game. Two cards go down, and a challenge calls the deck to your hand, you ignore the smirks (haven't they learned by now that it's better to have all the cards?), focusing on the prize ahead. Three more hands go before you begin, and their eyes go wide as you lay down set after set, not daring to challenge you whether you're calling out ones or twos, pages or knights.

"Read 'em and weep, boys," you tell them, as you play poisoned hands in with true: they've never once had a hope of beating you.


	5. Dirk/Jake/Hal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @aphwhales  
> check in prompt: dirkjakehal, somethin fluffy

"Absolutely _not_ ," Dirk says, and the look on Jake's face is almost comically sad. "I refuse."

"But _Dirk_." You'd never accuse him of whining (to his face, unless it was funny), but he does do a textbook example of it. "You would be an exemplary gentleman! Absolutely dashing!"

" _I'll_ wear it," you offer, and when Jake gives you an absolutely delighted expression just as Dirk gives you his most betrayed, it's actually worth having to wear a stupid hat and be the Jones to Jake's Croft.


	6. John/Dave/Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @morgan soroka   
> check-in prompt n ship: johndavekat, karkat goes godtier

Patience is a virtue you've never once in your life claimed to have. Shooting the shit with John is about all that keeps you calm as Karkat runs his "errand" you're supposed to know nothing about (trust him to try and keep shit hidden from a god of time), but you're reaching that edge of anxious where not even bad puns and dumb memes can keep you from losing it.

And then a hand drops into your hair and feathery wings brush against your cheek, as an exhausted Karkat drops down between the two of you. "That took for-fucking-ever," he grumbles, slumping into your side. "Egbert, I want a godsdamn foot massage, and Dave's keeping the clock this time."

It's enough to make all the tension in you break into so many pieces that you burst out laughing, then and there.


	7. Eridan/Sollux/Gamzee/Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @fox_salazar  
> Also, now that I've checked in: erisolgamkar and for the prompt uhhhh piles

A rule of thumb when it comes to piles: everyone has their own preference for pile building, and not every preference is compatible. If you let Makara take charge of yours, you'd be pulling horns out of every single orifice, and as it is, you've had to use your powers to discreetly YEET a few brass instruments outta there. Karkat's acceptable, when it comes to pile building, but Ampora's almost as much of a disaster as Makara is. You don't really prefer wand-wounds to instrumental points of note (hehe), but it's hard to get this across without being a total douche. Hence the yeeting, which, thankfully, results mainly in a starstruck GZ and a delightfully grumpy ED. Not bad.


	8. Jade/Nepeta/Equius

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @elle  
> I love all these so far! For me can I please get uhh jadenepquius, with stargazing orrrr rivals at a science fair?

Three scientists and explorers of three different sorts made for so many different approaches to stargazing! Equius preferred to chart out the ones that were already there, making notations about the historical movements that may have affected their shapes. You liked tracing the out the oldest ones, and comparing them to everything else you know, to maybe see why they were linked to what they were. And Nepeta...well, Nepeta liked making up her own, which sometimes, occasionally, made Equius go absolutely, completely, and totally bonkers. But hey! It wasn't like he didn't do the same to all of you guys, all the time.


	9. The Midnight Crew

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @ihasa  
> Checkin: Midnight crew, poly-ashen. I wanna see a fight get concilliated twice because the first time didn't take and just dragged the third party in.

unofficial round two is brought to a complete halt by HB's ass settling on all three of you. whenever you and droog get into it, deuce takes it on himself to jump in and mediate, but that shit don't always fly. deuce is as easy as you two to get riled up, and dragging people into your shit is just what you like to do, and droog though he won't admit it, loves stooping to your level. HB, though, is hard to argue with, especially when he decides the best way to get your attention is to physically stop you from putting it anywhere else. god, you fuckin' hate all of these stupid jackasses who won't leave you the fuck alone when you really don't want them to.


	10. Dave/Jade/Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @karkata   
> davejadekat, first date

There are several problems with dating multiple people at once, and one of those problems is finding the perfect first date. Unfortunately, the three of you had decided that _you_  were the new geniuses of the world, and that if anyone could solve this massive and important problem, it was you.

Which was why you'd come up with a list of six potential dates each, came up with random crap for two more slots and _then_  rolled a d20 to decide.

Which was why the three of you were now stuck at the local school gym on a Saturday morning, working as timers for Karkat and Dave's older brothers' chess tournament.

"I hate you both," Jade mutters, as she checks the numbers on the main sheet against the submissions. "I could be _playing_  in this."

Karkat groans, slumping down in his borrowed chair. His legs have never been more sore, his heart has never been more low. "Why the _fuck_  did we have to roll a nat _one_."

"Look at it this way," Dave says, "now they _have_ to let us borrow the cars, at least once each."

The fact that he's greeted with curses and rude gestures does not deter Dave Strider in the _slightest_.


	11. Sollux/Dave/Karkat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @Icey   
> SolDaveKat Red/pale/black triangle or smear And/or Dave adjusting to being a troll

Whenever you get concerned about vacillation issues, Dave reminds you that it's completely "on brand" for the three of you together to be absolute disasters at everything you do. Usually you'd take this as an insult, but he has a weird knack for saying the worst things at the best times, in the most comforting way. It doesn't hurt that Sollux is usually there to back him up, and that the two of them tossing back and forth whatever fresh hoofbeastshit is the topic du nuit always has a weird way of cheering you up. Or pissing you off. Or calming you down.

Okay, fuck, maybe you _are_  disasters.


	12. Eridan/Feferi/Sollux/Karkat - Drinking Game

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @auxanges   
> pweas  
> write erifefsolkat doing a drinking game

When you'd gotten the letter, penned in Fef's own hand, about a "catch up sesh", you'd gone out and bought a bottle to add to the few you'd pull from your own private collection. Others might presume to know your girl, but none of them had the experience in dealing with Feferi Peixes that you did—you, and a select few others, who were only _now_ starting to measure up, in your humble opinion—and none of them would have guessed that pretty princess Feferi could easily drink someone under the table.

Which was why you knew that "catch up sesh", though it might be written in pink and decorated with sad cuttlefish and sea grass, _actually_ meant "drinking game, be ready and warned".

You were kind of hoping that Captor and Vantas hadn't sorted it, though—that'd be absolutely fucking hilarious to see.

 

* * *

 

 

Lady Luck, unfortunately, had not favored your side. Vantas showed up with an armload of snacks ("to cut down on whatever the fuck you heathens will be chugging") and Captor had arrived with a drink you weren't even going to acknowledge and several things that he described as "chasers" and "mixers". Preservation of your sanity for the night ahead demanded that you  _not_ ask him what he _actually_ knew of drinks and mixology, much as you might desperately want to. Your pitch was a disaster and a fucking half, but judging by the looks Vantas was giving him as the three of you stood on Feferi's doorstep, you might get beaten to the biggest fussing of the night.

Fine by you. You had much more amusing things to do today.

The first of which was _finally_ beat Fef Peixes at her own deeps damn game.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the only reason you got away with the "pweas" is because we're dating


End file.
